EDIT: Sorry, this turned out a lot longer than I expected... Might have to clean that up a bit tomorrow, as I got quite tired of writing towards the end of it. >_<
I wanted to share this story for a while but didn't find the time to write up a post. While this hasn't really happened "lately" the story is good enough that it would be a shame not to share it. I hope you don't mind! 🙂
So, this happened on my trip to Japan in Tokyo around two and a half months ago. Me and my mate were chilling in a (very) cramped, tiny neighborhood bar, just sitting at the counter chunking shochu and chatting with the locals. At some point during the evening the sliding door opens and very tired looking salary man, probably in his late 30s, enters the bar. After some initial hesitation upon seeing us foreigners he sits down next to us (the only available seat) and begins studying the shochu menu.
Now, this guy was the stereotype of a perpetually unhappy japanese worker drone. After first complaining about the selection of shochu offered, he proceeded to slowly sip the one he settled for, all the while staring emptily into his glass, only uttering the occasional long winded sigh. He didn't seem like the most likeable fellow but I was already quite drunk, so I decided to chat him up.
He seemed a picky shochu drinker so I planned to ask him for a shochu recommendation (osusume?). It quickly became clear that this guy spoke zero English and we both had to resort to using a smartphone and google translate to communicate. I didn't manage to get a good shochu recommendation out of him but somehow our conversation turned to japanese art (I mentioned that we planed on going to Tokyo National Museum the next day).
Now this was a topic that got him really excited. He turned out to be big fan of traditional japanese art and after giving us some museum recommendations he showed us a picture of his favourite painting. I'm sure you all know it:
 
Of course its The Great Wave of Kanagawa by Hokkusai! Now, this is a pretty famous picture and I think even in Europe or the US a lot of people know it. Basically, every poster shop sells at least one Hokkusai poster, right? And of course, I have a poster of exactly this picture hanging in my room. So, after communicating to this guy that I, some gaijin from the other side of the world, indeed have his favourite painting hanging in my room, he goes completely nuts. Lot's of laughing, bowing, apologizing (for what even?), sugoing... Well, he was pretty amazed to say the least.
As the evening dragged on he eventually asked us if we wanted to "go ahead?". We were a bit hesitant at first so he clarified: "to cabaret club", "my kids can speak english", "I pay". We weren't really sure what a "cabaret club" was but we figured it must have something to do comedic performances, because in Germany "Kabarett" is a type of small-scale performance on a stage, often satirical or comical (never good though). Apparently his kids are there (jeez, this guy must be older than he looks!) and they can speak English and also he pays for everything? Well, we didn't expect a lot from japanese cabaret but the prospect of chatting with some japanese people and seeing something unique seemed enticing. At least it's going to be a new experience, so no reason to decline!
After saying good-bye to everyone and drunkenly trying to take some photos of the bar we eventually get going. This was when things started to get a bit strange... While we are walking I notice that the townscape is starting to get a bit seedier. Suddenly advertizements for "massages" are starting to pop up more frequently and some skimpily clad girls with pretty clear intentions are leaning against walls by the side of the street. The stranges thing was that some of the random strangers that pass us in the street seemed to bow infront of Tohiro, our companion, as soon as they recognize him. Huh? This guy must be someone important.
Anyway, we eventually make our way to this multistory building and Tohiro surefootedly walks straight towards the entrance. A very serious looking security guard appears out of nowhere and falls into step with us, all the while speaking some japanese gibberish into his earmike, apparently sending news of our arrival to his colleagues upstairs. The door in front of us opens and a group of very very drunk, rich looking salarymen (all well into their 50s or older) stumble outward and slog past us, the guys being barely able to walk and having to lean onto each other. The door is held up for us, we enter an elevator and the security guard sends us upstairs.
Now at this point me and my mate are both a bit freaked out because the building, the salarymen and the security guard all kinda give out a sleazy vibe and this isn't at all what we were expecting. However, there is nothing we can do at this point expect resigning ourselves to our fate. The elevator door opens, we exit, turn to the right and see a bar counter. Infront of the counter stand ten very elegantly dressed, young japanese ladies as well as several butlers who all great us with a deep bow. Me and my mate manage to exchange several "WTF is going on here"-glances, when already one of the butlers sweeps in - "Your mantel please." - and ushers us to a lounge area with sofas and small tables. At one of the tables we see a group of old salarymen drunkenly chatting with several young ladies.
Shortly after sitting down I realize that I left my wallet and passport inside my mantle jacket and with the slightly seedy vibe this place gives of I'm starting to get even more nervous. I havn't even got the time to process all of this when a butler comes to our table with a caraffe of whisky, a bowl of ice and two glasses and puts them down on our table. With him is one of the girls from infront of the bar. She waves hello and wiggles into the space between me and my mate. Being all smiles she begins to pour us some whisky.
My mate and I have by now lost all notion that this establishment has anything to do with comedic performances and we are feeling quite freaky. What is this place? Is this a bordell? Wtf are we expected to do here? And where are Tohiros kids?
It also doesn't take long for the girl in our middle to try to start up a conversation (using her smartphone and google translate) all the while giving us deep smiles and fluttering with her eyes. Now, I'm not super socially akward but I'm not a social butterfly either and notoriously bad at small talk. The situation being as it is, I just can't think of anything to talk about and she starts to slowly pry some words out of my mouth, asking questions like "What are you doing in Japan?", "Where have you been already?", etc.
After a couple of minutes and a couple of sips from my whiskey, I begin to kind of calm down and can finally relax a bit, my mate taking over the conversation by showing the girl some pictures we took in Akihabara that day. When I look up I suddenly see four girls making their way to our table. They are all giving us big smiles, bowing and one by one begin sitting down at our table. One is sitting down to my left, one to my mates right, and two in front of us on the other side of the table.
We are now completly encircled have  one girl on every side of us. I kind of felt like a deer under the watch of  a pack of wolves, as all of them are trying to start a conversation, taking turns in asking me questions. None of them spoke conversation level english so the whole thing was pretty pointless and forced. The only English sentence the girl to my left could muster was a "You are very handsome." while gazing deeply into my eyes and giving me a big smile, to which I responded with a "Oh, you are very handsome too!" (which she undoubtedly was!). Well, that should give you an idea of the level of conversetion we were having...
So from there on out we were just making forced small talk, sipping whiskey and getting our cigarettes lit by the ladies. As time went on we kinda got the hang of it and were actually starting to enjoy ourselfs. At some point my mate went to the toilet. When he came back he told me he had found a price list: From what he could make out the whole ordeal must cost several hundred euros for both of us (actually the price probably wasn't that high, though we are not sure if we got the VIP treatment or not). Ooppss, do we have to pay any of that?
No problem though, at the end of the evening Tohiro-san just flipped out his credit card. He also didn't even buy anything for himself, wich was why none of the girls talked to him, and prefered to sit quietly at the edge of the sofa playing with his smartphone the whole time. Well, we all went outside said our goodbyes, cheered for hokkusai and went our seperate ways my mate and I making our way back to the hostel in stunned silence.
This is the place btw: https://goo.gl/maps/z6fidBJVx3p (it looks a bit seedier by night). Apparently these cabaret clubs are quiet harmless. You literally pay money for cute girls to keep you company and nothing more happens.
