The user above you will make a wish. Your job is to corrupt it into something horrible, then steal their wish mojo to make your own wish. Example: User 1 wrote: I wish I had a bottomless gallon of ice cream. User 2 wrote: Wish granted, but it's literally bottomless. I wish I had a magic pocketwatch that could stop time.

You become obsessed with using it and cause yourself to age faster than everyone around you and die many years before your loved ones. I'm sorry &t ; _ ; I wish to be a real girl. A pretty one.

Granted! And indeed, you're very pretty. Unfortunately, you still don't think you're pretty, which leads to the world's most stubborn case of Ugly Duckling Syndrome. I wish I had more time to play Overwatch.

My friend, your wish is granted, but then eventually you'll ignore your basic needs and your brain shuts you down. "My wish is to protect my world against entropy!"

The world is protected from entropy but the rest of the universe eventually succumbs to it. In the inky void that once was only the Earth remains. I wish I could see a day into the future.

Granted! Unfortunately, you get to see it through the perspective an ant, which might make gaming the stock market somewhat of a challenge. I wish I could be best buds with a polar bear.

Backlash wrote: I wish I could be best buds with a polar bear. Wish accepted. Ironically, as with any bear species, they don't deserve to be your best friend, thinks you're their meal, and pounces on you. Ok, then: "I wish I want to spend more time with my waifu Lucia."

LucianDreamer wrote: Backlash wrote: I wish I could be best buds with a polar bear. Wish accepted. Ironically, as with any bear species, they don't deserve to be your best friend, thinks you're their meal, and pounces on you. Ok, then: "I wish I want to spend more time with my waifu Lucia." You meet her, she touches you accidentally, you die. I wish I could focus on my exam revision.

Wish granted, but then you start to forget remembering what you studied, your writing hand trembles filling the wrong circles, and given an F at the end. "I wish I can win the Circuit de la Sarthe."

Wish granted, but then you lose all motor function to your legs. I wish I can project my thoughts via monitor

Good news: whatever you think of will be projected onto your monitor. Bad news: whatever you think of will be projected onto anyone's monitor. I wish that I could read whole books in an instant.

Monkey's Paw Thread

Hamza

Wish granted but you are born with multiple defects such as being blind and deaf.

I wish I could never feel pain.

LucianDreamer

Granted, but after many years of living without pain, old age eventually takes over, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I wish I want to be more popular.

LucianDreamer

Granted, but then Lady Luck betrays you, and on your first week of work, you feel super tired continuously, your boss finds out, and got fired.

I want a longer stay in Gensokyo.

All in One

Wish granted but since you neglected to make any specifications you are confined to Cirno's frozen lake for the extended duration of your stay.

I wish that I could fly.

LucianDreamer

Your wish is granted, but you can't control where your wings take you, inevitably slamming into a high-rise building with a splat.

I wish I can buff everyone's confidence levels to the maximum.

Mercurial

Wish granted, but your music is so emotionally pure that it makes others feel intensely what you feel. They hear your angry music, they get murderous; your sad music, they get suicidal; your happy music, manic beyond recovery.
Also all the tea is lukewarm D:

Okay, um... I wish for my programming skills to be taken to the max!

Backlash

Granted! And indeed, you usher in a new era of automation and artificial intelligence. But not everyone's willing to regard machines as people, which leads to the Omnic Crisis happening in real life.

I wish I had a pint of ice cream. Preferably banana flavor.

LucianDreamer

Your wish is granted, but the hot sun melts it long before you even taste it.

I wish I want to kiss a cute magical girl from Mitakihara.

LucianDreamer

Granted, but you have to spend an eternity serving your master until you can't cope with it no more.

I wish for a utopian society.

Backlash

Granted! And indeed it's a utopia, so long as you stay in your lane. Anyone who objects is pumped full of painkillers and psychedelics till they're happy again.

I wish I were fluent in Hawaiian Pidgin. ^^

[video=youtube][/video]

GlassMoon

You can speak Pidgin fluently, but realize that the literature of the language is unfortunately small.

I wish that I had the power of Bhishma, where I can live as long as I want and choose whenever I want to die. A good foolproof for the old "you have immortality but become bored and lonely and spend all your time wishing for death" trick. Let's see how you can screw me out of this one, monkey's paw!

LucianDreamer

The Universe you live in will find its own way of dealing with such a powerful wish you made by ripping itself apart or imploding back into singularity at a speed many times faster than light as soon as we discover the truth about dark matter. When the realization does come rearing its head, either the temperature of space reaches absolute zero K meaning you will not even be able to move at all, or your godlike durability cannot even handle near infinite degrees K, effectively disintegrating you. If that's not enough, then perhaps any black hole you run into would swallow you whole without mercy, spaghettifying you.

Your wish is rendered null and void. Sorry, buddy.

I then steal your wish and say I want to make people's lives happier and cheerful. <3

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