I feel so bitter right now. Like having that feeling that i don't belong to anything. Not even my family.
A "friend" of mine invited me over a skype session with all my former friends and stuff. I noticed that my parents, my ex-gf and a lot of people that i used to work with were there too.
You see, back in the day i used to help and get involved in a lot of cons in my hometown, i even mananged several of them from 2012 to 2016 when i left for Japan, and i had several music projects (a band, a duo with another singer and some stuff). I told almost no one besides my family, closed accounts on forums and left my facebook page abandonded for a while.
I had a huge quarrel with my ex-gf over the week, she came to ask me where i was and what was i doing. I told her "I moved to Japan, and i'm not coming back in a long time".
News spreaded out like wildfire and soon i had like 15 people on my ass, telling me stuff.
Back in the group, my parents were agreeing that i needed an intervention and this whole thing escalated into a massive volley of people in my ass.
My ex-gf started "dating" (boning) my former best friend, and telling me how pathetic i was for clinging to a hopeless dream. My parents took it on me for kicking lawschool to become a music producer, my "friends" came after me saying that i was wasting my time in a nowhere land and stuff when i could be making "big" money from making cons. Eventually i just lost it, plugged in my mic and started venting on everyone. Blocked everyone from my sns as a result and spent all day crying in my bed.
I feel like i have no home right now. Like i'm lost in a huge sea of people, with no place to rest. I clearly know that i'm pretty much fucked and by 2019 i'll be homeless.
I know a few people here, but i wouldn't call them friends yet. I feel like a fucking outsider to the world. I don't want to get to my hometown, Tokyo is such a nice place filled with culture, people, debates, music, food and stuff that rarely happens in my hometown. It's like a whole new world.
I'm planning to sever all my ties with Chile. I'll try to find a stable job after i finish here in Kunitachi and settle here. But otherwise it fucking sucks to know that you don't have a family, that your former friends only used you to achieve useless shit and poor cash.
I don't know how to legally change your name here, i just want to dissapear and start over again here.