I feel this restless anxiety around trains, even with how often I've had to ride them. To know that they could pulp me in seconds with no effort, to know that release is just one step away, and not taking that step... It takes a lot out of me.
One one hand, resisting the allure of death demands superhuman courage and fortitude. But morality aside, doesn't surrendering yourself to it take a lot too? To take a stand against a universe, a society that is inimical to life? To wholly reject what burdens you've been saddled with instead of lying down and taking them, letting life trample all over you? I suppose it all depends on your perspective.