I know in any given place like this, there's at least a dozen people who struggle with social anxiety, disinclination or impairment. I do myself, and to a degree that I'm not really functional, so I'm curious to hear what methods and exercises have helped you or someone you know improve. One thing I can share for those of you with problems speaking around strangers is Skype calls with online friends. A while ago I started practicing with someone I'm more or less comfortable around but have never met in-person, and it's helped a lot so far. Within about 4 or 5 sessions, I went from being unable to utter a single word to being able to talk almost completely freely. I still can't talk to strangers or even my boyfriend but I can safely say it's a step in the right direction.

I do not suffer from social anxiety anymore, but I used to. For as long as I can remember, I was always paranoid when I saw people talking at far distances because I had always assumed that they were talking about me in a negative manner. This was not so bad in smaller crowds, but when I was around large crowds, it was extremely dreadful. When I was 16, I finally got tired of it. I slowly but surely moved out of my comfort zone. I made friends and went out more. Eventually, it all got better. tl;dr force yourself to be social, and the anxiety will disappear over time. Do what makes you uncomfortable at a safe yet efficient pace.

I have always struggled with this since I was 14 years old. I have been pretty shitty at dealing and coping with it. I eventually lost some of it once I started making more friends on Steam games and WoW. In real social situations it started to get better when I got envolved with the druggies at my school but that only helped in the short term. 18-21 were the worst years of social anxiety and depression after my girlfriend broke up with me. At somepoint enough was enough and I started reading self help books and books on the topic of anxiety. What helps me is just staying hydrated sitting and standing with good posture smiling and breathing deep and slow when I start to get anxious. For me it just comes down to reminding myself that I like myself and that's all that matters and interacting with everyone even if it feels awkward. I still have a long way to go but I am way better than I used to be.

Derfy wrote: I have always struggled with this since I was 14 years old. I have been pretty shitty at dealing and coping with it. I eventually lost some of it once I started making more friends on Steam games and WoW. In real social situations it started to get better when I got envolved with the druggies at my school but that only helped in the short term. 18-21 were the worst years of social anxiety and depression after my girlfriend broke up with me. At somepoint enough was enough and I started reading self help books and books on the topic of anxiety. What helps me is just staying hydrated sitting and standing with good posture smiling and breathing deep and slow when I start to get anxious. For me it just comes down to reminding myself that I like myself and that's all that matters and interacting with everyone even if it feels awkward. I still have a long way to go but I am way better than I used to be. Do you remember what book in particular was most helpful? I'm open to reading something as long as it's not bogus Oprah magazine advice.

I'm probably guilty. Not sure about anxiety but impairment/disinclination probably. Except with family. I can talk to people fine if needed but in social situations I'm more of a listener than a talker, since I don't make small talk. I tend to type far more words online than speak to other people. And I don't have many close friends IRL. I don't really worry about how strangers or other people think of me since I try to be civil so there's that. If you can't be sociable, be civil.

shoecotton wrote: I'm probably guilty. Not sure about anxiety but impairment/disinclination probably. Except with family. I can talk to people fine if needed but in social situations I'm more of a listener than a talker, since I don't make small talk. I tend to type far more words online than speak to other people. And I don't have many close friends IRL. I don't really worry about how strangers or other people think of me since I try to be civil so there's that. If you can't be sociable, be civil. Sounds exactly like me tbh I'm a diplomat of sorts.

Perhaps attempt to form a social group of like-minded people, but try to evade those with similar problems if you can, otherwise you'll just add to each others'. This will most certainly make talking to other people more tolerable, especially in the social group's presence. It's certainly fine to befriend others with social difficulties, but you won't be helping yourself if you make them your primary sources of interaction, I know this from experience. I recently went on a night out drinking and was able to tolerate environments I would have otherwise found unbearable, for this very reason. In fact, I found myself enjoying a loud and crowded bar, despite finding myself nauseated by a busy market/festival the prior year. That said, a far louder club had me wanting to escape. If you really aren't in a position to have a social group, perhaps attempt boosting your social skills through interactions with family members you're comfortable with. Their presence ought to have a similar, but lesser, effect to the presence of a social group, and should allow you to acclimatize sufficiently to social contexts to allow you to find friends outside of your family. My advice is purely from my own experience though, so it may not apply to you.

Realize that people aren't judging you and that you literally aren't even registered in their mind since you're part of the background to them. It doesn't fix social anxiety, but it's the best method to cope that I've found so far. It works well if you don't mind being a loner.

For those of you who struggle with social anxiety or anxiety in general, I suggest you read this: It's got some good insight about how to deal with it.

honestly, I just talk to people online all the time and it's helped me a bit. Socializing on the internet isn't the same at all, but it is socializing, and has, at least in my case, helped a little. I used to be unable to say hello to anybody, I think that it's because of my non irl friends forcing me out of my shell the tiniest bit that I can now make small talk awkwardly with strangers.

Miles wrote: Realize that people aren't judging you and that you literally aren't even registered in their mind since you're part of the background to them. It doesn't fix social anxiety, but it's the best method to cope that I've found so far. It works well if you don't mind being a loner. Ya that's what happened to me i just started ignoring and doing my own thing and distancing myself form others. After a bit I no longer felt lonely being a loner for a time.

Share some advice for those with social anxiety?

Shiro

malmon wrote:
Well, the same can be said for many drugs, hence why you're not supposed to take loads of them. Then again, afaik, most antidepressants are addictive as well, mostly because of the withdrawl symptoms (at least that seems to be the case for the ones I was meant to take).

Also, here's the talk I'm on about

-snip-

Though it is a shame that some rely on drugs

"Though it is a shame that some rely on drugs" Truest thing I've heard all year. Preach it.

Backlash

Shiro wrote:
malmon wrote:
Shiro wrote:
based_bluetawn wrote:
Try amphetamines like methamphetamine or adderal (which is identical), don't smoke them, snort or eat and don't use more than you have to because they are fun and tempting, don't redose, yes, meth causes dopamine system damage, regular amphetamines do not.

I learned more from a couple uses of amphetamines than I did in a college class on public speaking (though it did help).

I went from socially anxious to an extremely nerfed anxiety response.

That's my experience, don't take it as truth. Playing with drugs is a dangerous game.

Doing meth is just retarded in the first place it cooks your brain lmao.
I personally wouldn't advise doing hard drugs just to combat anxiety go get prescribed xanex or something else that's been clinically tested and is SAFE.

This one TED talk I saw, they talked about using Ketamine for this sort of stuff. In mice, it seems to be considerably more effective at a much lower dose with fewer side effects than (meth)amphetamines. I haven't really read in to its effectiveness on humans though.

As someone who used to abuse Ketamine I can say it just fucking kills you and it's super addictive. Rip my bladder.

Aye, drug addiction is the worst. Congrats on beating it, though! 😃

Тачанка-чан wrote:
I have dealt with social anxiety since I was around the age of 12, and I still struggle with it occasionally. A good way that I have found to help oneself with such an affliction is by reading more, not necessarily fiction, but philosophy. If you can learn about how people think you can learn how people work. It's also just very thougt provoking and gives you many ideas to apply in your life, especially when talking to people.

Can confirm: Reading does wonders for improving one's social skills. From what I've seen, it not only builds your vocabulary and teaches you clever figures of speech, but also forces you to practice paying attention and using your imagination; both of which are key skills in any conversation.

I personally do not find philosophy palatable for this technique, though it can certainly be interesting. Instead, I like to read old novels from the 19th century; the prose is flowery and very complex, but it tends to get easier after the tenth page.

Apophany

Addictive anti-depressants? Yeah, I've been on more than a few. But they usually triggered hypomanic episodes. Eventually my body had rejected so many drugs that they decided to do some genetic testing, which is how they found out my metabolism is incompatible with all but a select few drugs on the market. So now I'm on lurasidone and levomilnacipran. They don't seem to be helping much, but they're not causing me any trouble either, so I take them just so people get off my case.

Grinning Jackal

Hello. I have social anxiety and a mild form of agoraphobia. Smoking ganja helps but I always carry my lucky slammer (slammer for the old game POGS) and when im in public I am always holding, twiddling and rolling it in my fingers. It helps me focus on not dropping it when I would normally focus on everyone else. Get a fidget item to attract more of your attention. Hope this helps!

Edo

I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I'm currently trying to get the right medication for it. But one thing I suggest for people with social anxiety, is to go online more whether it's 4chan which is anonymous, other image boards, forums, online games, or anything else online that helps you talk to people. Kind of like the OP said. But these people have to realize nothing good will come of it unless they make that first move, which it will be difficult at first but it's definitely possible, just keep trying to start a conversation online with people you don't really know, people who have no clue who you look like, how you act in person, who you are, etc. Talking online reduces a lot of anxiety, because there's nothing really to judge at first. How I became a little more extroverted was that I started making for friends in games Minecraft and WoW specifically and it helped me be a bit more extroverted and more open. Now it's not going to completely remove your anxiety completely, there will still be times where you're just too scared to strike a conversation, and I still go through that. But doing this does help a lot more than a person would think.

Edo

malmon wrote:
Shiro wrote:
malmon wrote:
Shiro wrote:
Doing meth is just retarded in the first place it cooks your brain lmao.
I personally wouldn't advise doing hard drugs just to combat anxiety go get prescribed xanex or something else that's been clinically tested and is SAFE.

This one TED talk I saw, they talked about using Ketamine for this sort of stuff. In mice, it seems to be considerably more effective at a much lower dose with fewer side effects than (meth)amphetamines. I haven't really read in to its effectiveness on humans though.

As someone who used to abuse Ketamine I can say it just fucking kills you and it's super addictive. Rip my bladder.

Well, the same can be said for many drugs, hence why you're not supposed to take loads of them. Then again, afaik, most antidepressants are addictive as well, mostly because of the withdrawl symptoms (at least that seems to be the case for the ones I was meant to take).

Also, here's the talk I'm on about
[video=youtube][/video]

Though it is a shame that some rely on drugs

It might be, but some people just can't get themselves fixed and can't cope with their mental problems. I've spent 15 years of my life with GAD, it sucks and it controls me. I have fights with my brain everyday, meditation doesn't work for me, breathing nah fam rather just not. What I'm saying is though it may be a shame, we have to rely on drugs because there's nothing else for us. Not everyone has to take drugs for it, but not everyone can meditate and control their breathing and instantly feel better after doing it for 10 years.
TL;DR some people's problems are just that serious.

Zerker

The most effective thing that helped me with social anxiety was finding a job. I used to restrain myself from talking with other people or tend to finish conversation as fast as possible to get back to my comfort zone. These things stopped, since communicating with people has become what I'm getting paid for. I've discovered that there is no longer a place for doubt in communication, when it's a matter of being fired or not. Of course my job didn't cure all my social anxiety, but it somehow affected how I deal with social situations in my private life as well. I've found some analogy between being social at work and being social, when meeting up with friends or getting to know a new person.

Violets

I think someone mentioned something like this earlier, but if you spend a lot of time on the internet, a really good way to get into breaking social anxiety is to simply message back and forth with someone in a non-IM manner (so not using things like Discord). It removes a lot of the pressures that talking 1 on 1 with people comes with like thinking on the spot about what you want to say. After you get to a point where you become comfortable in a setting like this, you would obviously want to try to move onto IM, but I think taking small steps is a good way to go about it. I used to talk to someone with extreme social anxiety and eventually she was able to overcome it by doing this very thing.

Personally I think that developing communication skills over the internet can help some in real life. Some people just need to feel comfortable and all that anxiety goes away.

LucianDreamer

Never put yourself down, and always put positive thoughts first. Writing down what went wrong for you during the day on a paper or on the computer helps too.

Sleepy

I get extremely anxious about almost every social interaction I have to deal with, but none of them have been as bad as I thought they would be.

Not really advice, but I don't have any because it's still a huge problem for me. Just a thought.

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