Loading Image

Walkure Romanze

Horses... ah, such magnificent creatures! Those hard hooves, those strong muscles, those slick necks... and their deep eyes! Surely there must be somebody charmed just as I am by those royal animals, right?
Or so thought Yusuke Yamamoto while directing Walkure Romanze. Now, don't get me wrong, I know this is an anime adaptation of a visual novel, I also know that the plot in this setting was not an easy thing to come up with, but 8-bit could have easily settled down with main heroine's route and follow it until the end. Or any other girl's, for all I care. And yet, in spite of all the potentially great ways to direct this anime, we're stuck with the one way that is completely not okay, and I blame one person and one company, with the person having been already mentioned, and company being Ricotta, the one that released the eroge. That said, their fault is considerably smaller, they simply failed on the researching phase. As much as Princess Lover hit the right spot, Walkure Romanze doesn't, and instead feels like a trip to an alternative dimension - a dimension nobody would willingly visit.

Well, let's start on the bright side. Visuals... as much as I want to complain, I can't really do it in this case. The character designs are pretty, the animation is smooth, lighting and shading is correct and overall, the scenery is beautiful. That said, it's not just the visuals that make up the anime, so it was far from enough to keep me devoted to watching it. Instead, it just felt like a cherry on a spoiled cake. Like a delicious sauce on a dessert that's way past its expiration date. Thus, I felt rather conflicted. Why? What is the point of making something so pretty if the events aren't even good? Why are some of the anime gems so unpopular, buried at the bottom of the ocean by the weight of their technical issues, under all of the polished, sparkling poop we got since?
In case anyone is wondering, 2 points because of a certain character's design that got changed. Why? Paragraph four.
Graphics: 2/20

Now, in case anyone is wondering why I'm so negative regarding this specific title, it's because of two things. One - I watched it once before, and I had to do it all again to write a proper review. Two - this anime has existential issues, and rewatching this title didn't help to get rid of the feeling it shouldn't be created. Soundtrack, in this case, falls under my second argument. It sounds good, I don't deny it. The opening and ending don't sound bad either, I must admit that too. But there's one small fact... it totally doesn't fit the target audience. It's as if someone ripped off a shoujo anime soundtrack and put it into a shounen one. It just feels weird.
Sound: 10/20

Now, onto the main point. I'm not really sure what is the target audience here. It's an adaptation of an eroge with multiple heroines, so it insinuates that it's aimed at boys. How it all goes, however, makes it more fit for... zoophiles? People overly into jousting? Teenage girls who love horses to the point of mental sickness? I can't really tell. I'll just tell you that despite having 'Romanze' in the title, there's pretty much next to none of romance in this series. The rest of it had that 'magnificent' feel to it, as if it was a shoujo title.
But did I derail...? Well, let's get back on track then. The action takes place at an academy teaching knights and begleiters (knights' assistants). Those terms, however, do not refer to 'real' knights, but rather the students jousting. Plot revolves around Takahiro Mizuno, an ex-knight who was forced to resign due to an injury. He's a student at aforementioned academy on the begleiter profile. Because of his successful knight past, however, he's a number 1 target of quite a few current knights aiming high. And it just so happens that all of them are women, which would potentially create a harem there - if only our poor protagonist saw a world beyond his horse. That's what saves this series from all the harem cliches out there - and hence labels it as even worse, as I can no longer tell where the concern ends and zoophilia begins. Well, one thing, however, deserves a point taken off, and it is 'the final shounen fight', which doesn't really end as expected.
Plot: 19/20

As you can tell by now, I'm not really a fan of Mizuno. He might act all cool and composed, but under the surface he's rotten - rotten with love for horses, which makes him a a part of the plague that destroys this anime along with them. The 'main heroine' in this case is Kisaki Mio, Mizuno's friend that got by chance pulled into the world of knights and stayed there of her own free will. She's pretty much what you can call your regular heroine - clumsy and hopelessly in love with the main character. In this case, however, the creators went a step forward and tried to appeal to the feminists. For... whatever reason? You see, they forcibly made Mio into a 'strong and independent woman who can act for herself', which pretty much contradicts her personality. And the act of cutting her hair, as seen on many other anime as a sign of something significant happening, in this one doesn't work as intended and rather destroys the character design itself. Apart from her, you get to see a true parade of potential harem members, starting with Celia Aintree, the student council president, who wants Mizuno as her begleiter for his skills, despite being plenty strong herself; Ryuuzouji Akane, who more than anything admires the council president; Noel Ascot, who wants Mizuno for herself because of the promise she made to her sister; and Lisa Eostre, a mysterious, silent transfer student who's ridiculously overpowered (seen that coming? bet you did). Then there's Bertille Althusser (who thought this was a good last name?), that can't take being humiliated by exposing her underwear and yet willingly shows even more body wearing her armor, along with her two loyal followers. Because anime. For the sake of completeness, I'll include here Sakura, Mizuno's true love, his one and only... horse. That apparently doesn't even know what it wants apart from food.
Did I mention this one takes place in Europe? No? Well, apparently it does, and so we got there another character needlessly accented, so James-san, the caretaker of horses, who looks like a regular 90's American actor past his due date.
Characters: 25/20

Did I enjoy it... hahahaha, that's a dumb question indeed. I'll just let you know that instead of falling asleep during watching it, I fell asleep multiple times during... writing this review. Oh yeah. It was just so bad it didn't have immediate results but rather multiplied aftereffects. So do not approach without a stick. Even if the total score is relatively low.
Enjoyment: 25/20

Total score: 81/100
Judgement: ROTTEN TO THE CORE