War of the chicken

by StupidWaifuchan

StupidWaifuchan
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08-01-2016, 06:14 PM
#45306 (1)
This has been bothering me for a while. Who would win in an all out War? Colonel Sanders or General Tso?

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doublemunch
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08-02-2016, 08:09 AM (This post was last modified: 08-02-2016, 08:10 AM by doublemunch.)
#45339 (2)
Well, let's look at the facts.

General Tso is a general, whereas the Colonel is just so. This means that Tso is the more qualified of the two by some way, though it is apt to mention that the Colenel has a much wider field of combat, and has shown to be very flexible in his approach, pioneering many dishes to the General's meagre one.
Next, the quality of their arsenal.

The Colenal comes packing, his diversity really coming through: he boasts not only the much beloved moist yet crispy texture of his signature Kentucky Fried Chicken, but uses pressure fryers that allow him to cook more chickens per frying in less time than conventional pan frying, meaning the Colenal packs not only power but speed also. On top of all of that, the Colenal has another, more underhand tactic: his infamous 11 secret herbs and spices. The delectable taste produced makes the Colenal stand out even from competing officers on home soil. I would imagine that the General's forces will have undoubtedly heard of the legend, and it will put a major dent in their morale.
This doesn't mean that the General has been put out of the fight, however; oh no, far from it. The General may not have the upper hand technology wise, but he does have guerrila tactics, the best tool to combat the KFC's fast food, conventional western tactics. The General relies on a recipie that is simple, tried and tested, yet is a fantastically well rounded yet boldly unique meal, with a healthy side that the Colenal cannot replicate well - vegetables. On top of this, with just a single dish to perfect, there is much less that is likely to be at fault in terms of quality compared to the many dishes that the Colenal's forces must utilise.

Finally, the size of their forces. On the surface, it may seem that the Colenal's army clearly outnumbers and outguns the much more modest manpower of the General's, but I implore you to reconsider. We return now to those guerrilla tactics; unlike the Colenal's KFC, the forces of the General do not fall under one brand and one store. The warriors and weapons the General needs can be found in just about every Chinese you will come across - and you may not even realise it. Governor Tso's chicken, General Gao's/Gau's chicken, General Tao's chicken, General Tsao's chicken, General Tong's chicken, General Tang's chicken, General Cho's chicken, General Chau's chicken, General Joe's Chicken, T.S.O. Chicken, General Ching's chicken, House Chicken, or simply General's Chicken (thanks Wikipedia). If the Colenal doesn't know who he's fighting and where, how can he hope to defeat them?
And you might say now that the Colenal has a global reach where the General does not - 'Hong Kong Style Sweet & Sour Chicken' is my retort. And it goes deeper; are they supplied by Peng or Wang?

In summary, basically Vietnam 2.0 but with chicken.

Did I just spend 1/2 an hour writing about who would win out of a couple of fried chicken retailers?
The mysteries thicken.
Anyway I hope I, uh, helped. It was clearly something that had to be dealt with.
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StupidWaifuchan
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08-02-2016, 02:58 PM
#45365 (3)
(08-02-2016, 08:09 AM)doublemunch Wrote: Well, let's look at the facts.

General Tso is a general, whereas the Colonel is just so. This means that Tso is the more qualified of the two by some way, though it is apt to mention that the Colenel has a much wider field of combat, and has shown to be very flexible in his approach, pioneering many dishes to the General's meagre one.
Next, the quality of their arsenal.

The Colenal comes packing, his diversity really coming through: he boasts not only the much beloved moist yet crispy texture of his signature Kentucky Fried Chicken, but uses pressure fryers that allow him to cook more chickens per frying in less time than conventional pan frying, meaning the Colenal packs not only power but speed also. On top of all of that, the Colenal has another, more underhand tactic: his infamous 11 secret herbs and spices. The delectable taste produced makes the Colenal stand out even from competing officers on home soil. I would imagine that the General's forces will have undoubtedly heard of the legend, and it will put a major dent in their morale.
This doesn't mean that the General has been put out of the fight, however; oh no, far from it. The General may not have the upper hand technology wise, but he does have guerrila tactics, the best tool to combat the KFC's fast food, conventional western tactics. The General relies on a recipie that is simple, tried and tested, yet is a fantastically well rounded yet boldly unique meal, with a healthy side that the Colenal cannot replicate well - vegetables. On top of this, with just a single dish to perfect, there is much less that is likely to be at fault in terms of quality compared to the many dishes that the Colenal's forces must utilise.

Finally, the size of their forces. On the surface, it may seem that the Colenal's army clearly outnumbers and outguns the much more modest manpower of the General's, but I implore you to reconsider. We return now to those guerrilla tactics; unlike the Colenal's KFC, the forces of the General do not fall under one brand and one store. The warriors and weapons the General needs can be found in just about every Chinese you will come across - and you may not even realise it. Governor Tso's chicken, General Gao's/Gau's chicken, General Tao's chicken, General Tsao's chicken, General Tong's chicken, General Tang's chicken, General Cho's chicken, General Chau's chicken, General Joe's Chicken, T.S.O. Chicken, General Ching's chicken, House Chicken, or simply General's Chicken (thanks Wikipedia). If the Colenal doesn't know who he's fighting and where, how can he hope to defeat them?
And you might say now that the Colenal has a global reach where the General does not - 'Hong Kong Style Sweet & Sour Chicken' is my retort. And it goes deeper; are they supplied by Peng or Wang?

In summary, basically Vietnam 2.0 but with chicken.

Did I just spend 1/2 an hour writing about who would win out of a couple of fried chicken retailers?
The mysteries thicken.
Anyway I hope I, uh, helped. It was clearly something that had to be dealt with.

Amazing! This clarifies quite a lot so arigatou gozaisu ♡ tuturu

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doublemunch
meme bento
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08-02-2016, 03:15 PM (This post was last modified: 08-02-2016, 03:58 PM by doublemunch.)
#45367 (4)
(08-02-2016, 02:58 PM)StupidWaifuchan Wrote:
(08-02-2016, 08:09 AM)doublemunch Wrote: Well, let's look at the facts.

General Tso is a general, whereas the Colonel is just so. This means that Tso is the more qualified of the two by some way, though it is apt to mention that the Colenel has a much wider field of combat, and has shown to be very flexible in his approach, pioneering many dishes to the General's meagre one.
Next, the quality of their arsenal.

The Colenal comes packing, his diversity really coming through: he boasts not only the much beloved moist yet crispy texture of his signature Kentucky Fried Chicken, but uses pressure fryers that allow him to cook more chickens per frying in less time than conventional pan frying, meaning the Colenal packs not only power but speed also. On top of all of that, the Colenal has another, more underhand tactic: his infamous 11 secret herbs and spices. The delectable taste produced makes the Colenal stand out even from competing officers on home soil. I would imagine that the General's forces will have undoubtedly heard of the legend, and it will put a major dent in their morale.
This doesn't mean that the General has been put out of the fight, however; oh no, far from it. The General may not have the upper hand technology wise, but he does have guerrila tactics, the best tool to combat the KFC's fast food, conventional western tactics. The General relies on a recipie that is simple, tried and tested, yet is a fantastically well rounded yet boldly unique meal, with a healthy side that the Colenal cannot replicate well - vegetables. On top of this, with just a single dish to perfect, there is much less that is likely to be at fault in terms of quality compared to the many dishes that the Colenal's forces must utilise.

Finally, the size of their forces. On the surface, it may seem that the Colenal's army clearly outnumbers and outguns the much more modest manpower of the General's, but I implore you to reconsider. We return now to those guerrilla tactics; unlike the Colenal's KFC, the forces of the General do not fall under one brand and one store. The warriors and weapons the General needs can be found in just about every Chinese you will come across - and you may not even realise it. Governor Tso's chicken, General Gao's/Gau's chicken, General Tao's chicken, General Tsao's chicken, General Tong's chicken, General Tang's chicken, General Cho's chicken, General Chau's chicken, General Joe's Chicken, T.S.O. Chicken, General Ching's chicken, House Chicken, or simply General's Chicken (thanks Wikipedia). If the Colenal doesn't know who he's fighting and where, how can he hope to defeat them?
And you might say now that the Colenal has a global reach where the General does not - 'Hong Kong Style Sweet & Sour Chicken' is my retort. And it goes deeper; are they supplied by Peng or Wang?

In summary, basically Vietnam 2.0 but with chicken.

Did I just spend 1/2 an hour writing about who would win out of a couple of fried chicken retailers?
The mysteries thicken.
Anyway I hope I, uh, helped. It was clearly something that had to be dealt with.

Amazing! This clarifies quite a lot so arigatou gozaisu ♡ tuturu

I do my best. For knowledge.
Honestly though this is the kind of thing I think about all of the time, don't know about you lot.
Maybe I just have too much time to think.
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