Random thoughts thread

by Apophany

yumiyacchi
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08-18-2016, 01:31 PM
#46063 (176)
A friend won two tickets for an anime con and she invited me to go with her.

Backlash
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08-18-2016, 03:09 PM
#46070 (177)
(08-18-2016, 01:31 PM)yumiyacchi Wrote: A friend won two tickets for an anime con and she invited me to go with her.

Man, and my friends won't even invite me to the five-dollar pizza buffet.

I should probably get better friends.

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08-19-2016, 06:42 PM
#46120 (178)
I feel this restless anxiety around trains, even with how often I've had to ride them. To know that they could pulp me in seconds with no effort, to know that release is just one step away, and not taking that step... It takes a lot out of me.

One one hand, resisting the allure of death demands superhuman courage and fortitude. But morality aside, doesn't surrendering yourself to it take a lot too? To take a stand against a universe, a society that is inimical to life? To wholly reject what burdens you've been saddled with instead of lying down and taking them, letting life trample all over you? I suppose it all depends on your perspective.
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08-20-2016, 11:02 PM
#46161 (179)
I turn 22 in 2 days and I feel no different. It has made me think that with all I have learned in the past year and how much I have grown that I will never have enough time to do everything I want to do and learn everything I want to learn. I feel that even on my death bed I will still be thinking of everything I have not done or learned or experienced and brought into me as a part of myself. That in the end I never became my true self and did little more than fumble in the dark searching for the final piece, that final intangible something unknown. How do you search for something when you don't know what you're looking for?

I also had this strange flash forward the other day. I was sitting in a local coffe shop and I was thinking some what of the above. I was suddenly struck by the thought that I am already old. It was as if time had suddenly slipped from me. I felt myself as old man and looked through older eyes, for only a brief moment I was old in both body and spirit, I truely felt it.

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08-20-2016, 11:09 PM (This post was last modified: 08-20-2016, 11:10 PM by Mango.)
#46162 (180)
(08-20-2016, 11:02 PM)Xioko Wrote: I turn 22 in 2 days and I feel no different. It has made me think that with all I have learned in the past year and how much I have grown that I will never have enough time to do everything I want to do and learn everything I want to learn. I feel that even on my death bed I will still be thinking of everything I have not done or learned or experienced and brought into me as a part of myself. That in the end I never became my true self and did little more than fumble in the dark searching for the final piece, that final intangible something unknown. How do you search for something when you don't know what you're looking for?

I also had this strange flash forward the other day. I was sitting in a local coffe shop and I was thinking some what of the above. I was suddenly struck by the thought that I am already old. It was as if time had suddenly slipped from me. I felt myself as old man and looked through older eyes, for only a brief moment I was old in both body and spirit, I truely felt it.

these thoughts are all too real for me aswell i think the best thing to do is not ponder on it too much

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RX14
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08-21-2016, 05:18 AM
#46167 (181)
Every day I tell myself i'm going to be productive but then suddenly it'a 10pm and i've done nothing all day...

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Backlash
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08-21-2016, 11:15 AM
#46174 (182)
(08-20-2016, 11:02 PM)Xioko Wrote: I turn 22 in 2 days and I feel no different. It has made me think that with all I have learned in the past year and how much I have grown that I will never have enough time to do everything I want to do and learn everything I want to learn. I feel that even on my death bed I will still be thinking of everything I have not done or learned or experienced and brought into me as a part of myself. That in the end I never became my true self and did little more than fumble in the dark searching for the final piece, that final intangible something unknown. How do you search for something when you don't know what you're looking for?

I also had this strange flash forward the other day. I was sitting in a local coffe shop and I was thinking some what of the above. I was suddenly struck by the thought that I am already old. It was as if time had suddenly slipped from me. I felt myself as old man and looked through older eyes, for only a brief moment I was old in both body and spirit, I truely felt it.

Dude, you graduated from high school around four years ago. You weren't legally privileged to drink in the US till just under a year back. Trust me, you're not old in the slightest.

However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't still seize the day.

yumiyacchi
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08-21-2016, 12:40 PM
#46175 (183)
I'm sorta like dating and shit.

Also, i bought a mike.

doublemunch
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08-21-2016, 01:06 PM
#46176 (184)
I got my first job recently, which is a schway; but I've also found myself helping out at home and with my neighbours' odd jobs, after 3 long years of sitting on my ass and doing nothing.

I feel like I'm, I dunno, improving as a person? It's a nice feeling, anyway.

Also I suppose it's pretty ironic that after finally being given work to do I start doing more work elsewhere.
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08-21-2016, 07:29 PM
#46185 (185)
(08-21-2016, 05:18 AM)RX14 Wrote: Every day I tell myself i'm going to be productive but then suddenly it'a 5am and i've done nothing all day...


FTFY

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08-21-2016, 08:03 PM
#46187 (186)
I hope they don't do the opening ceremony of Tokyo 2020 with Miku or else we won't hear the end of it by Vocaloid fanboys.

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08-21-2016, 08:35 PM
#46189 (187)
I really oughta get back to my account on NationStates... Maybe when I'm feeling a little better.

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08-23-2016, 03:00 PM
#46256 (188)
I happened to witness a rather curious ocurrence during my excursion to the beach today: The gaggle of assholes in front of me found a pair of sunglasses, valued at (as had been ascertained after considerable chatter), over three hundred dollars.

Bear in mind, that said family had already earned my chagrin several times by invading our space, and by not even saying thanks when I helped their youngest daughter out of a great wave. However, this moment would make me realize their true character: Rather than report the expensive sunglasses to the beach patrol, the fatter of them kept it, and floated to his knot of friends about how he'd sell it on eBay.

This really struck a chord with me. I've heard stories about how the most impoverished of people lay out their entire livelihoods before guests, and I myself had been charitable enough to deliver a gaming computer erroneously delivered to my house, despite the fact that my family's bank account hasn't breached $2,000 in the last eight years. And yet here was this upper-middle-class family, with some of the best equipment on the beach and expensive clothes; this family that complained about not going to a resort in Cancun when mine has saved up all year just to secure a budget condominium for a week or two; this family, who had the gall to take a man's possession and sell it on the Internet with nary a second thought.

In a better world, this sort of family would be summarily strung up by their own entrails.

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seel
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08-23-2016, 03:05 PM
#46258 (189)
(08-23-2016, 03:00 PM)RevonZZ Wrote: I happened to witness a rather curious ocurrence during my excursion to the beach today: The gaggle of assholes in front of me found a pair of sunglasses, valued at (as had been ascertained after considerable chatter), over three hundred dollars.

Bear in mind, that said family had already earned my chagrin several times by invading our space, and by not even saying thanks when I helped their youngest daughter out of a great wave. However, this moment would make me realize their true character: Rather than report the expensive sunglasses to the beach patrol, the fatter of them kept it, and floated to his knot of friends about how he'd sell it on eBay.

This really struck a chord with me. I've heard stories about how the most impoverished of people lay out their entire livelihoods before guests, and I myself had been charitable enough to deliver a gaming computer erroneously delivered to my house, despite the fact that my family's bank account hasn't breached $2,000 in the last eight years. And yet here was this upper-middle-class family, with some of the best equipment on the beach and expensive clothes; this family that complained about not going to a resort in Cancun when mine has saved up all year just to secure a budget condominium for a week or two; this family, who had the gall to take a man's possession and sell it on the Internet with nary a second thought.

In a better world, this sort of family would be summarily strung up by their own entrails.

I find that the wealthier, and easier your life is the more materialistic and vain people are. They don't care about another persons possessions. They care about having money, and designer clothes. They care more about their new Jordan's than they do their own offspring. It's quite sickening really.

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08-23-2016, 03:33 PM
#46259 (190)
SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

Quote:Warriors should suffer their pain silently.





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08-23-2016, 07:08 PM
#46263 (191)
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

That sounds complicated...

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08-23-2016, 07:47 PM
#46264 (192)
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

This kind of stuff is always hard. Or you get your way and make people suffer or you stay away and everyone's happy except of you. Also, do you know how she feels about him and stuff? Like, have they went out and stuff and how are you against him.
Just saying, if you decide to step aside you'll probably won't have a shot in a while, assuming that you don't talk to much girls. It's fine, there are more girls and boys out there.
If you decide to bite the bullet and go courting her, it'll be fine. Your homie will have to understand as you would if he is the one to be with her. Of course, there 'll be pain and you both would get angry at each other for a while for sure. But remember, it's your play now. Also, it won't guarantee 100% SUCCess on it. She could reject both u know or even be playing.
I'm gonna reccomend a song to listen to:

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08-24-2016, 10:38 AM
#46287 (193)
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

Are you me? Though when I was in this situation, I figured I was too awkward to ask her out anyway, so I just encouraged him to do so instead. They've been together for 3 years now, and though she's still undeniably attractive, I seem to have gotten over her.

Maybe if you are really good friends and both have a decent chance at getting her, you could both decide not to. Then again, I've never had a girlfriend - I have no idea what I'm talking about.

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08-24-2016, 03:31 PM
#46292 (194)
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

Do not let go that easily, trust me. I do not know how good your realtionship with your bf is, but if it's actually good they won't mind - If your crush chooses you; In turn you should try to cope if they choose your bf. Inaction is death.

My experiences with that exact situation have traumatized me for years now, and I would not want anyone to repeat what I did - nothing. It cost me my friendship with my bf, two decent friendships and my nerve in all things romantic. 
One more very serious piece of advice: do NOT think it granted that your friend has the same thoughts about letting his crush go for your sake. (also they might go for your next crush as well)

(FYI, my bf was a good friend of my crush, and was at the time infatuated with another, who did not return his feelings but wanted him as a friend, while she was actually into me, but had held herself back, since she knew I was into her friend, as she told me years later.

 My bf then turned his attentions to my crush and eventually raped her when they were out drinking. I didn't know until she told me after she asked me whether I liked her - to which I replied affirmatively. Well, she turned me down and made me promise I wouldn't talk to my then bf about it. Well I haven't to this day, years later - needless to say, I distanced myself from him over time. I still get sick when I see him.

In the end I still was hopelessly in love with my crestfallen crush and continued to pine after her even after being rejected as someone she wasn't into - until our A-levels, shortly past which she confessed to me that she had been going out with our 50-something school janitor, someone I had earlier thought a pedo, having seen him looking up the skirts of 13-yo girls - who had been there for here at the right moment.

Well, to summarise - I didn't do anything. I watched as two girls I truly liked got hurt and hurt while I couldn't do a thing for them, I trusted my then best friend not to act like a vile bastard and paid for it - over this I developed a hidden fear of close friendship and romance, and a habit of lying to hide certain parts of myself)
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08-24-2016, 03:32 PM
#46293 (195)
(08-24-2016, 10:38 AM)malmon Wrote:
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

Are you me? Though when I was in this situation, I figured I was too awkward to ask her out anyway, so I just encouraged him to do so instead. They've been together for 3 years now, and though she's still undeniably attractive, I seem to have gotten over her.

Maybe if you are really good friends and both have a decent chance at getting her, you could both decide not to. Then again, I've never had a girlfriend - I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Well i kinda figured it out as i have more chance of getting her i guess and she also told me her feelings for me were too complicated but she already knew she didn't love my best friend so i think she loves me i guess but as i know now i'm going to give her the time and space she needs to make sure she knows what kind of feelings she has for me and i already talked to my best friend about it and he told me he knew and that he was sorry he fell in love with the same girl i did.

Quote:Warriors should suffer their pain silently.





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08-24-2016, 03:36 PM
#46294 (196)
(08-24-2016, 03:32 PM)Oblivion Wrote:
(08-24-2016, 10:38 AM)malmon Wrote:
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

Are you me? Though when I was in this situation, I figured I was too awkward to ask her out anyway, so I just encouraged him to do so instead. They've been together for 3 years now, and though she's still undeniably attractive, I seem to have gotten over her.

Maybe if you are really good friends and both have a decent chance at getting her, you could both decide not to. Then again, I've never had a girlfriend - I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Well i kinda figured it out as i have more chance of getting her i guess and she also told me her feelings for me were too complicated but she already knew she didn't love my best friend so i think she loves me i guess but as i know now i'm going to give her the time and space she needs to make sure she knows what kind of feelings she has for me and i already talked to my best friend about it and he told me he knew and that he was sorry he fell in love with the same girl i did.

Good for you!
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08-24-2016, 03:36 PM
#46295 (197)
(08-24-2016, 03:31 PM)llik3 Wrote:
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

Do not let go that easily, trust me. I do not know how good your realtionship with your bf is, but if it's actually good they won't mind - If your crush chooses you; In turn you should try to cope if they choose your bf. Inaction is death.

My experiences with that exact situation have traumatized me for years now, and I would not want anyone to repeat what I did - nothing. It cost me my friendship with my bf, two decent friendships and my nerve in all things romantic. 
One more very serious piece of advice: do NOT think it granted that your friend has the same thoughts about letting his crush go for your sake. (also they might go for your next crush as well)

(FYI, my bf was a good friend of my crush, and was at the time infatuated with another, who did not return his feelings but wanted him as a friend, while she was actually into me, but had held herself back, since she knew I was into her friend, as she told me years later.

 My bf then turned his attentions to my crush and eventually raped her when they were out drinking. I didn't know until she told me after she asked me whether I liked her - to which I replied affirmatively. Well, she turned me down and made me promise I wouldn't talk to my then bf about it. Well I haven't to this day, years later - needless to say, I distanced myself from him over time. I still get sick when I see him.

In the end I still was hopelessly in love with my crestfallen crush and continued to pine after her even after being rejected as someone she wasn't into - until our A-levels, shortly past which she confessed to me that she had been going out with our 50-something school janitor, someone I had earlier thought a pedo, having seen him looking up the skirts of 13-yo girls - who had been there for here at the right moment.

Well, to summarise - I didn't do anything. I watched as two girls I truly liked got hurt and hurt while I couldn't do a thing for them, I trusted my then best friend not to act like a vile bastard and paid for it - over this I developed a hidden fear of close friendship and romance, and a habit of lying to hide certain parts of myself)
I already made up my mind, i'm not letting her go and i'll love her as much as i can.
She's my everything and i can't let anything happen to her.

Quote:Warriors should suffer their pain silently.





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yumiyacchi
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08-24-2016, 04:40 PM
#46297 (198)
(08-24-2016, 03:36 PM)Oblivion Wrote:
(08-24-2016, 03:31 PM)llik3 Wrote:
(08-23-2016, 03:33 PM)Oblivion Wrote: SO my bestfriend fell in love with my crush and now i'm thinking what i should do as i want my bestfriend to be happy but i also love that girl and i even tried to let her go so my bestfriend could have a chance but i couldn't let her go so what do i do next? To be clear i fell in love first

Do not let go that easily, trust me. I do not know how good your realtionship with your bf is, but if it's actually good they won't mind - If your crush chooses you; In turn you should try to cope if they choose your bf. Inaction is death.

My experiences with that exact situation have traumatized me for years now, and I would not want anyone to repeat what I did - nothing. It cost me my friendship with my bf, two decent friendships and my nerve in all things romantic. 
One more very serious piece of advice: do NOT think it granted that your friend has the same thoughts about letting his crush go for your sake. (also they might go for your next crush as well)

(FYI, my bf was a good friend of my crush, and was at the time infatuated with another, who did not return his feelings but wanted him as a friend, while she was actually into me, but had held herself back, since she knew I was into her friend, as she told me years later.

 My bf then turned his attentions to my crush and eventually raped her when they were out drinking. I didn't know until she told me after she asked me whether I liked her - to which I replied affirmatively. Well, she turned me down and made me promise I wouldn't talk to my then bf about it. Well I haven't to this day, years later - needless to say, I distanced myself from him over time. I still get sick when I see him.

In the end I still was hopelessly in love with my crestfallen crush and continued to pine after her even after being rejected as someone she wasn't into - until our A-levels, shortly past which she confessed to me that she had been going out with our 50-something school janitor, someone I had earlier thought a pedo, having seen him looking up the skirts of 13-yo girls - who had been there for here at the right moment.

Well, to summarise - I didn't do anything. I watched as two girls I truly liked got hurt and hurt while I couldn't do a thing for them, I trusted my then best friend not to act like a vile bastard and paid for it - over this I developed a hidden fear of close friendship and romance, and a habit of lying to hide certain parts of myself)
I already made up my mind, i'm not letting her go and i'll love her as much as i can.
She's my everything and i can't let anything happen to her.

That's a nice resolve m8, i hope you guys be happy. And i hope your homie understands that. Also, clarify it with him so he's not pissed.

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08-24-2016, 06:42 PM
#46298 (199)
I'm an American kid in my third year of college. How the fuck do seven of my classmates not have their driver's license yet? -.-;

seel
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08-24-2016, 07:04 PM
#46299 (200)
(08-24-2016, 06:42 PM)RevonZZ Wrote: I'm an American kid in my third year of college. How the fuck do seven of my classmates not have their driver's license yet? -.-;

22 year old reporting in with no driver's license. To be fair I'm not a huge fan of driving, but sometimes next month I'll have it. Sad times.

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