I'm stepping down.

by Kiss of Death

Kiss of Death
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12-05-2015, 06:38 AM (This post was last modified: 12-05-2015, 06:38 AM by Kiss of Death.)
#30404 (1)
I came to a conclusion. I'm stepping down.

I don't really know how to continue with this thread, so I'll just shove in random things in random order.
Firstly, I really enjoyed my days as staff, but I don't feel it's right to be one anymore. I will most likely regret ever stepping down, but proven there were the days to regret ever becoming one, it's a fair trade in the end.

Then come the reasons. In case anyone is unsure why I'm doing this, I'll just say that now. I don't really feel like I'm welcome as a member of staff anymore. And, moreover - I don't feel too good being staff myself. Compared to the days I was just your ordinary member, now it's more of a chore than having fun. Back then I could post freely with no care in the world - now, while I theoretically still can do that, it doesn't feel right to do so. I'm bound by chains of responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I really liked being staff, being able to help out the forum and Senpai as much as I could, and I still want to do that - I just can't do it the way it is.
The second thing is that I'm often influenced by my emotions to the extent of being even blinded by them. A staff member is not supposed to be like that and is more of a disgrace than anything else. If my decisions, somewhat influenced by emotions, ever hurt you, I do apologize.
Now, for the last thing. I feel like I've been trying too hard. I've been told multiple times than being a staff on Lewd is a rather loose position to take, given the amount of members we have and not really many of them breaking the rules - but I still wanted to be useful. And that's the problem. Among the rest of staff, being rather laid back and not treating things too seriously when there's no need to, someone like me, treating every small thing as a potential threat, does not really belong. I kept on enforcing the rules to kill others' fun and that probably led to some of you hating me. I'm sorry for that, but I still don't regret whatever decisions I came to.

Lastly, I just wanna say I still want to help out the forum, so nothing is set in stone yet. I will keep on introducing my ideas, keep on being active - even more so now I'm no longer a moderator. I just wanna thank everyone that encouraged me on my journey so far, but for now, this is as far as I go. I can't be a staff member until I'm ready to become one, and being one until now was a pleasant experiment that I did not deserve. Should I ever deserve this title, I'll be happy to look you in the faces again and carry on with that duty, but until that day comes, I will just be your ordinary based nana. 
Thanks to everyone who read it.

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Lokorfi
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12-05-2015, 09:08 AM
#30409 (2)
You were most arguably one of the best moderators I've ever come to know. I'll be sad to see you step down. But now you will have more fun! :D

mayunaise
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12-05-2015, 09:50 AM
#30411 (3)
Im sorry to see you step down, but if its all for the better, who am I to complain.

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Melancholy
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12-05-2015, 10:02 AM
#30412 (4)
i'm pretty upset that you've stepped down, but i'm happy that you're not leaving us.

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Eros
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12-05-2015, 10:53 AM
#30415 (5)
At least you're not leaving, that's something we have to be glad for.

As for the stepping down, I can personally relate to you. I've been staff member in various other places and basically what you said have happened to me as well.

Honestly, you were one of my favorite staff even though we haven't actually had a conversation.

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Utsutsu
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12-13-2015, 11:11 PM (This post was last modified: 12-13-2015, 11:12 PM by Utsutsu.)
#31073 (6)
I get you, I totally do. Had pretty much the same stuff for a bit, but got over it pretty fast.
You should think about yourself first, then others, as mean as it sounds. Anyway as long as you're happy c:
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seel
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12-14-2015, 05:06 PM
#31128 (7)
I'm 9 days late to the party, but I'll chip in my two cents. @Utsutsu hit it well, you've got to think about yourself before others. As cool as it is to be a moderator on a forum, it can be stressful. I've opted to step down before too simply because I'd rather have fun with the other members. I'd rather not have to deal with it. Though you do regret it at times, the feeling passes because if you did the right thing you won't linger on the thought. So although I'm sad to see you step down, I'm happy to welcome you back to member-dom. Also now you have plenty of free time to post more zr in the appreciation thread :^)

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12-14-2015, 06:06 PM
#31146 (8)
>>31128
nana stepped back up, everything is okay now. c:

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12-14-2015, 06:12 PM
#31147 (9)
(12-14-2015, 06:06 PM)Senpai Wrote: >>31128
nana stepped back up, everything is okay now. c:

And there was much rejoicing.

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12-14-2015, 07:28 PM
#31159 (10)
(12-14-2015, 06:06 PM)Senpai Wrote: >>31128
nana stepped back up, everything is okay now. c:

oh so it was pointless forum drama as usual

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Kiss of Death
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12-14-2015, 08:08 PM
#31163 (11)
>>31159
>
> oh so it was pointless forum drama as usual

Feel free to think of it that way. I gave it plenty of thinking for the past 9 days. Being a normal member made me feel it's rather pointless anymore, since I still behaved as if I was staff, so the only choices remaining were to either step back up or leave the community altogether. Additionally, my demotion hurt the overall coverage of hours from the staff team, since there were hours on discord where no active mod was online and people were pretty much left to their own judgement. If you wanna call it all pointless, feel free, since the result is the same, but things were happening in the background you had no clue about.

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seel
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12-14-2015, 11:41 PM
#31171 (12)
>>31146
> >>31128
> nana stepped back up, everything is okay now. c:

well i ain't revoking what i said. based nana needs more posts in zr :^)

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12-15-2015, 12:36 PM
#31244 (13)
Damn, if the staff keep comming back my ultimate plan to work my way in to the staff to then usurp the site and create a Lewd kingdom which will dominate the world are going to become a tad more complicated, Darn! I wanted to be a god to the public ;~;

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12-15-2015, 12:51 PM
#31245 (14)
Can anyone tell me which staff member is going to leave next? Can you also tell me when he/she is coming back again?

It seems like we've got a trend going on.
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Kiss of Death
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12-15-2015, 01:44 PM
#31246 (15)
Can anyone tell me which member is going to turn too edgy and get banned next? Can you also tell me when he/she will create another account just to fuck with members here again?

That's the trend you're looking for.

Look, if you don't like it, deal with it, me stepping down and becoming a mod again were two unrelated decisions I made within the timespan of 10 days. If you got a problem, we're here to listen, but unless you name it, we can't help you. If you're trying to circlejerk, this is clearly the wrong place to do so. Want to complain, sure, go ahead, but what exactly are you complaining about here?

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12-15-2015, 02:17 PM
#31251 (16)
>>31246
> Look, if you don't like it, deal with it, me stepping down and becoming a mod again
> were two unrelated decisions I made within the timespan of 10 days. If you got a
> problem, we're here to listen, but unless you name it, we can't help you. If you're
> trying to circlejerk, this is clearly the wrong place to do so. Want to complain,
> sure, go ahead, but what exactly are you complaining about here?

My complaint is that the mod team seems to be rather instable, when someone announces that they leave they just get back again within 2 weeks, this way it's hard to take the mods serious or have trust in such an instable moderating team. Although I would be able to take them seriously as a person, it's hard to take them seriously as a mod.

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12-15-2015, 02:51 PM (This post was last modified: 12-15-2015, 02:53 PM by Inkjet Printer.)
#31258 (17)
(12-15-2015, 01:44 PM)Nanashi Wrote: Can anyone tell me which member is going to turn too edgy and get banned next? Can you also tell me when he/she will create another account just to fuck with members here again?

That's the trend you're looking for.

Look, if you don't like it, deal with it, me stepping down and becoming a mod again were two unrelated decisions I made within the timespan of 10 days. If you got a problem, we're here to listen, but unless you name it, we can't help you. If you're trying to circlejerk, this is clearly the wrong place to do so. Want to complain, sure, go ahead, but what exactly are you complaining about here?

Those are two completely unrelated things. It's completely irrelevant to what we're talking about here.

I think my problem with this was pretty obvious but I'll type it out for you anyway: I've got a problem with staff members just coming and going as they like. It's hard to take you seriously if you seem to not care about your function. Because that's the signal I'm getting. It all comes off as attention seeking to be honest.
Also please tell me how you stepping down as a mod and you stepping back up are unrelated, seems pretty related to me.
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manko
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12-15-2015, 03:05 PM
#31262 (18)
Waiting for the next emotional breakdown thread saying he leaves again lol.

What people do for attention..

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12-15-2015, 03:11 PM
#31264 (19)
>>31159
>
> oh so it was pointless forum drama as usual

so it was




people take things too seriously
B)

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12-15-2015, 03:22 PM
#31268 (20)
I'd hate to have to point out that harassing a staff member falls under the same rule as harassing a normal member does.

You can believe what you like with your immature mind, nana needed and had a break; nothing to it.

I'm personally getting sick of the lack of respect for the community and the unwarranted contempt shown towards staff.

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12-15-2015, 03:22 PM
#31269 (21)
And who ever said that we are bound to our position? Do you think I'd agree to become a mod if I had to sign with my blood that I won't ever quit it? Visiting Lewd is my free choice of will, being a mod is a chance I've been given, taking it was also my free choice. I don't see any cyro lying around saying I've sold my soul to Senpai, now, do I? If I think being a mod is hard on me and my mind, stepping down is the most logical choice to make - and if I see that the team is facing a problem without me, coming back to fill in the void is also the most logical choice to make. You seem to think holding a position on an online forum strips us off our freedom, and for the nth time already, I repeat - it doesn't. If you think we're just sitting high up at the Olympus watching over the peasants playing around, we're not. We're serving the community. And if the community argues about that, imagine, how do we feel?
I do care about my function, that's exactly why I took the time to lay it off, ease my mind and think carefully whether or not I deserve it. And seeing quite a few things going on right when I was a normal member again did not make me feel well as I was. I just threw more work on the rest of the team instead of helping them.

>Also please tell me how you stepping down as a mod and you stepping back up are unrelated, seems pretty related to me.

Me stepping down and stepping back up were done for two unrelated reasons. While stepping down I cared mostly about my own well-being and my acceptance among the community; stepping back up was done because: 1) I received feedback from other staff and some members, 2) I noticed a significant downside to my stepping down, which is the gap in the hours covered by the staff team, 3) two issues I've had before, still as a mod, being completely gone. I no longer care about my own state of mind or how the community sees me - I want to help this community, so I'm back among the staff.

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12-15-2015, 03:30 PM
#31272 (22)
tbh nana, there's no use trying to explain to them. they'll find something else and circlejerk it, like always.

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12-15-2015, 03:36 PM
#31276 (23)
Please refer to my signature, you butts.
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12-15-2015, 03:46 PM (This post was last modified: 12-15-2015, 03:47 PM by Inkjet Printer.)
#31278 (24)
(12-15-2015, 03:22 PM)Nanashi Wrote: And who ever said that we are bound to our position? Do you think I'd agree to become a mod if I had to sign with my blood that I won't ever quit it? Visiting Lewd is my free choice of will, being a mod is a chance I've been given, taking it was also my free choice. I don't see any cyro lying around saying I've sold my soul to Senpai, now, do I? If I think being a mod is hard on me and my mind, stepping down is the most logical choice to make - and if I see that the team is facing a problem without me, coming back to fill in the void is also the most logical choice to make. You seem to think holding a position on an online forum strips us off our freedom, and for the nth time already, I repeat - it doesn't. If you think we're just sitting high up at the Olympus watching over the peasants playing around, we're not. We're serving the community. And if the community argues about that, imagine, how do we feel?
I do care about my function, that's exactly why I took the time to lay it off, ease my mind and think carefully whether or not I deserve it. And seeing quite a few things going on right when I was a normal member again did not make me feel well as I was. I just threw more work on the rest of the team instead of helping them.

>Also please tell me how you stepping down as a mod and you stepping back up are unrelated, seems pretty related to me.

Me stepping down and stepping back up were done for two unrelated reasons. While stepping down I cared mostly about my own well-being and my acceptance among the community; stepping back up was done because: 1) I received feedback from other staff and some members, 2) I noticed a significant downside to my stepping down, which is the gap in the hours covered by the staff team, 3) two issues I've had before, still as a mod, being completely gone. I no longer care about my own state of mind or how the community sees me - I want to help this community, so I'm back among the staff.

I think it's only logical that you're bound to it to some degree. I'm not saying that you can't ever leave or come back. I'm just saying that you shouldn't come or go as you please all the time because you won't be taken seriously among other things. You're really twisting my words here. I never said that have to do this or that. I'm just saying that I'd rather not have it.  My original post might have put it a little more bluntly but that doesn't change it.
I don't think it strips you off your freedom. Will you stop twisting my words?
You could have just announced you were taking a break instead of telling us you' were stepping down.

>1) I received feedback from other staff and some members,

You did get a lot of feedback from other members, we had an entire thread about it remember? We voted and the results were in favor of you staying. Yet you still stepped down some days later.

>>31268
>
> I'd hate to have to point out that harassing a staff member falls under the same
>  rule as harassing a normal member does.
>
> You can believe what you like with your immature mind, nana needed and had a break;
>  nothing to it.
>
> I'm personally getting sick of the lack of respect for the community and the unwarranted
>  contempt shown towards staff.

Well it's a good thing nobody's getting harassed then is it?

I don't know who you're calling immature here, but if it's me than I see that as harassment. If Nana needed a break he/she could've just told us instead of stepping down entirely, especially after the situation with @rii.

And I'm getting sick of the lack of respect you show towards us, the community, but that's probably just my immature, circlejerking mind, is it?
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monothedog
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12-15-2015, 03:52 PM
#31281 (25)
>>31278
>
> I think it's only logical that you're bound to it to some degree. I'm not saying
> that you can't ever leave or come back. I'm just saying that you shouldn't come
> or go as you please all the time because you won't be taken seriously among other
> things. You're really twisting my words here. I never said that have to do this
> or that. I'm just saying that I'd rather not have it. My original post might have
> put it a little more bluntly but that doesn't change it.
> I don't think it strips you off your freedom. Will you stop twisting my words?
> You could have just announced you were taking a break yet instead of telling us
> you're stepping down.
>
> >1) I received feedback from other staff and some members,
> You did get a lot of feedback from other members, we had an entire thread about
> it remember? We voted and the results were in favor of you staying. Yet you still
> stepped down some days later.
>
> >>31268
> >
> > I'd hate to have to point out that harassing a staff member falls under the same
> > rule as harassing a normal member does.
> >
> > You can believe what you like with your immature mind, nana needed and had a break;
> > nothing to it.
> >
> > I'm personally getting sick of the lack of respect for the community and the unwarranted
> > contempt shown towards staff.
>
> Well it's a good thing nobody's getting harassed then is it?
>
> I don't know who you're calling immature here, but if it's me than I see that as
> harassment. If Nana needed a break he/she could've just told us instead of stepping
> down entirely, especially after the situation with @rii.
>
> And I'm getting sick of the lack of respect you show towards us, the community,
> but that's probably just my immature, circlejerking mind, is it?

I agree whole heartedly, we're just being written off as circle jerkers with a lack of respect for the staff.
Respect needs to be earned and kept, you don't keep respect by dropping in and out regularly and when Nanashi made the descision to stay, he left, but when he made the desecion to leave, he still stayed. And why did he have to come back? Senpai says that he just needed a break yet Nanashi himself says that Lewd was undermoderated and they needed another mod. This shows lack of communication between the staff and a serious problem with the amount of staff members, if someone plans to leave the staff, yet he feels the need to come back due to lack of staff. Isn't that showing some seriously instable staff orginazation? But what annoys me the most is that when people complain in a mostly normal way, it might have been blunt but just becuase of that we're stupid people who wouldn't care about an explanation? And you think it's a problem you don't get enough respect, I might have some theories on why that is.

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