The Masochist's Corner Diabolik Lovers

by Kiss of Death

Kiss of Death
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07-28-2015, 10:45 AM (This post was last modified: 10-20-2015, 08:23 AM by Melancholy.)
#12979 (1)
[Image: 687474703a2f2f696d67312e616b2e6372756e63...6c2e6a7067]
Diabolik Lovers

Had enough Twilight by now? You should. I mean, we're living in the age where Twilight has gotten 5 movies based on 4 books and we're still getting a Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, which started off as a Twilight fanfic. So yeah, that's probably enough Twilight for a standard person. Well, apparently, not for the Japanese, who still went and created something titled Diabolik Lovers. For those who don't yet know, Diabolik Lovers is an otome game - a game where the protagonist is a girl and she's getting hit on by multiple bishounens - 'beautiful boys' - at once. Essentially, a reverse harem sort of thing. And obviously, since it's a reverse harem, it's aimed more at the female side of the audience. Now, I don't know the whole story behind it, but apparently the game scored a success, so that the anime titled the same came out in 2013, consisting of 12 episodes, roughly 15 minutes each. Do take a note, though, everything from this point on will be based solely on my experience with the anime.

Considering this anime has been created rather recently, the graphics aren't really bad. Sentai and ZEXCS put quite an effort into the visual side of the anime, only to prove that... they can do better. The character designs are generic and bland, hair color irritates with the gradients on every damn character... luckily, the backgrounds, while also generic, do have the pleasurable level of detail - with the exception that it's not nearly enough to make watching it enjoyable in the least. Eye candy, bishounens, gothic style and everything needed to create a shoujo anime is there, but is it really appealing? I'll leave this decision to everyone else, but I for one cannot really judge it by my own preference. Therefore, the final verdict is...
Graphics: 5/20

It wouldn't really be a rotten review if I didn't have much to pick on, would it? Luckily, the sound aspect is a lot more up my alley. As in, the wrong alley. The opening, as much as it probably would be enjoyable for any teenage girl with a depression or personality disorder, is just... I don't even know what adjective to put here so that I express the feeling of unease in my heart. It's just absolutely bad. As much as some of the potential viewers would squeal most of the time on the song just to faint in pleasure when the music stops for a moment and a bishounen performs his oh-so-cool catchphrase, I couldn't bear it. The ending melody was... cool, instrumental and not very complicated, yet enjoyable. As for the voice actors, most of them fit the role well... with the exception of Richter, whose seiyuu just didn't fit the role at all.
Sound: 16/20

This paragraph shouldn't be here. Why? Because, as far as I looked, the plot was basically nonexistent. Our protagonist, a girl named Komori Yui, arrives at some shady house with self-opening doors at the order of her father, just to discover that the family she's to live with from now on are actually bloodsuckers - or, to put it simply, vampires. I'll refer to this situation in the next paragraph, but for now, I'll follow on. She establishes in the house, transfer to a night school because the vampires said so, and then proceeds... to guard herself against the vampires' Attack on Neck. And basically, not counting the final 'bad guy' thing that was basically pushed into the series by force and resolved by the power of boners, it's actually the only thing that happens in this anime. There's not even a slight bit of romance in this!
Also, no matter how hard would you try, blood is nonflammable. Take that, scriptwriters! +nana, cause you can't burn the blood~ (yes, Offspring loose reference)
Plot: 27/20

Characters! Let's safely say it's 6 bishounens, 1 livestock, an evil witch and an even more evil guy who wants to resurrect her. Komori Yui, the protagonist who fits the role of the livestock in this setup, is a generic high school girl, who's twisted enough (as probably most of the people who willingly watched it) to not take the one and only opportunity she was given to run away and keep her virgi- *akhem* blood. Furthermore, the first thing she does in the series is interrupting someone's sleep, and with that, disturbing their privacy. It's just as rude as it gets, honestly. The six bishounens are all vampires, moreover, they're all as spoiled and generic as it gets for a shoujo series. Ayato, the possessive freak, is the one who would be paired with Yui by default - at least, if the series had any romance with it. Shuu, the eldest, is cool, composed, but easily provoked and that's everything you'd ever want to know about him. Kanato, the broken kid, is basically a small psychopath that gets aggressive really easy. Laito is the guy who makes probably the least sense (seriously, what girl would possibly enjoy being called Little Bitch?). Subaru is the only one in this pile of junk that I could, in the least, sympathize with, since he was the only with common sense in the group. Reiji, on the other hand, is an extreme introvert in the worst sense. And I still don't get what the hell happened in the 'tea' episode. And I don't even want to. 
Well, as the vampires, those bishounen guys just try to use every opportunity to stick their di- *akhem* bite the girls's neck and suck out some blood. And they can't kill her for some... reason. Which makes this series so blatantly boring.
Characters: 23/20

Enjoyment? What is it? Can I eat it? Is it tasty?
Well, seriously now. During the 3 hours that I sacrificed in order to watch this terror I somehow managed to forget the definition of enjoyment. So I can't judge what I actually felt, but that was probably brain cancer developing. So just for that, 25/20.
Enjoyment: 25/20

Additional points! This bullshit of a series somehow gets a second season later this year! +5!

Total score: 101/100 (96+5)

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07-28-2015, 11:26 AM
#12983 (2)
Great and downright kek inducing as fuck, Nana! This sounds a whole lot like Amnesia, but at least Amnesia had some sort of story, right?
Speaking of which, you should review Amnesia next, I suppose it's kind of like this.