The Masochist's Corner Abunai Sisters: Koko and Mika

by Kiss of Death

Kiss of Death
Deliciously Salty
Posts: 553
Threads: 77
Joined: Jun 2015
Reputation: 21
08-10-2015, 11:31 AM (This post was last modified: 10-20-2015, 08:20 AM by Melancholy.)
#14627 (1)
[Image: 687474703a2f2f7777772e616e696d656e617469...652e6a7067]
Abunai Sisters

Ever since I was a child, I was led to believe that everything in this world has a purpose and was made specifically for it. Scissors have been created to cut paper, earphones have been made to let us listen to music clearly without irritating anyone else, cars have been invented to allow us travel faster. Every now and then, however, I tend to stumble across something that serves absolutely no purpose and makes absolutely no sense. Those are really rare to find, but each time I do, I regret wholeheartedly ever being so curious as to even see what those are. That's the case with Abunai Sisters: Koko and Mika. Nobody knows how this even came to be, but one thing is certain: out of 10 episodes having ever been made, only the first two are publicly available. Thankfully (or regrettably), my friend's connections allowed me to lay my hands on every episode that was made, and I gotta admit... that was the biggest waste of time I ever committed. Three minutes per episode equal thirty minutes total, which I split over three days to find some enjoyment in between... but even that didn't save my brain from the permanent damage this series has inflicted.
Ever heard of Production I.G? You might have, but then again you also might have not. I don't judge. They have made Guilty Crown and were present in the creation of things such as Ghost In The Shell, FLCL, or... Blade of the Immortal. While none of those were particularly great (maybe except GITS, which is a classic of its own by now), neither of those have been so bad either. They were just nice productions to spend time with. Now then... somebody wants to explain why this same studio created something such as this... thing? I don't even want to call it an anime anymore, as it's a disgrace to all the other titles. Well then... shall we just continue...

3D animation. Something that is highly praised nowadays with productions like Disney's for example. It somehow makes me think the producers thought it's a good idea to rely on this sort of animation for the anime thing, since great mainstream productions rely on it nowadays. So they did. And I must admit, the fanservice in 3D bothered me way more than DxD's, Isuca's, KissxSis's and Yosuga no Sora's altogether. Big bouncing boobs, ridiculously round rims or titanic tanned tatas are pretty much the only thing you'll see in this show. Each episode consists of Koko and Mika, the huge hooter heroines, going somewhere else. And those places they visit aren't really excessively exceptional. They're just 3D copies of generic anime backgrounds. It doesn't get any better in the epiosdes that aren't publicly available either. I'd attach a screenshot from the 7th episode (seriously, some cringeworthy backgrounds there) but I won't, as I care too much for your eyes, dear readers. So yeah. I guess I need to make a new scale.
Graphics: (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)

One word: crude. This is the one adjective you can safely use when describing this anime thing. The sounds are so simple it's not even fun to hear them. If you even hear any sound, which is actually a rarity in this... thing. Most of each episode is basically flooded with pointless dialogue or monologue, which, to my surprise, is all in English only. Which makes me wonder what was the target audience for this... thing. It's weird, it's Japanese (which is just another level of weird) and full of boobs. So if not the overly horny Japanese boys that are into awkward 3D animations, I can't think of any mentally stable audience that would willingly watch it. Except for myself, of course, I'm so mentally unstable it's beyond any joke. So, to summarize: my ears got just the amount of cancer that my eyes did.
Sound: (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)

Oh yeah, this paragraph does not exist. It's not there. Stop looking. It's not here.
Okay, I'll write something here. >_< As far as I know, nothing considered plot can be found in this anime creation. And it's quite alright. It's hard to expect any plot from an anime that has 3 minute long episodes. In this case, however... this anime thing has absolutely no redeemable feature to pay back for your precious time. Each episode, as I have already mentioned, consists of the simple course of action: Knockers Kingdom Koko and Mega Armadillos Mika go somewhere else, get ambushed, fight the enemy off and praise their pimped-out hubcaps. Over and over and over and over again. The other feature that I took the time to count properly there is 3D boob jiggle, where I counted precisely 57 jiggles. On average. Per episode. 3 minutes, 57 jiggles. Where has this studio gone wrong...
Plot and characters: (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)

I tried to have fun watching it. I mean, it's 3 minutes per episode, right? Surely there is something fun about those 3 minutes that I can find, right? The answer is... nope. Not by a long shot. This monster is one of the worst productions of all time, if not the very worst. Thank you for reading. I have reached my goal as a reviewer. My lifelong goal of reviewing the worst thing I get in my hands. And now I can finally, truly, rest in peace.
Enjoyment: (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)

Total: count the titties/100.
Judgement: squished to death by Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers of Koko and Mika

[+] 2 users love Kiss of Death's post
Avid Keyboard Pummeler
Posts: 475
Threads: 15
Joined: Feb 2015
Reputation: 9
08-10-2015, 12:18 PM
#14638 (2)
Jesus Christ on a motorboat.

That's 174/100.

I don't think anything is going to beat this.

In reality, all he's doing is pushing the same buttons he always has, nothing has changed. The longer he spends here, the more invested he gets, the more he forgets which life is the real one.
Steam | HBird
I'll ruin your laifu.
Posts: 365
Threads: 23
Joined: Jul 2014
Reputation: 6
08-10-2015, 12:20 PM (This post was last modified: 08-10-2015, 12:27 PM by Kiss of Death. Edit Reason: the link broke, FTFY)
#14639 (3)
Does this even count as an anime? Who would ask you to watch this?

Also, I found a thing;

Kiss of Death
Deliciously Salty
Posts: 553
Threads: 77
Joined: Jun 2015
Reputation: 21
08-10-2015, 12:29 PM
#14641 (4)
I'm pretty sure this video is the whole reason I was asked to review it. ^^ And as long as it's on MAL, it counts as an anime production. So yeah.

I don't think so either rafer, but I don't wanna go ahead of myself there. XD There might just be worse productions...

Posts: 4,047
Threads: 221
Joined: Jul 2014
Reputation: 66
08-10-2015, 05:06 PM
#14673 (5)
An awesome review Nanashi. I vaguely want to watch this now.

sandwich spread
Posts: 600
Threads: 48
Joined: Oct 2014
Reputation: 16
08-10-2015, 07:39 PM
#14689 (6)
(08-10-2015, 12:20 PM)Waifu Wrote: Does this even count as an anime? Who would ask you to watch this?

Also, I found a thing;


[Image: 687474703a2f2f6d6179752e732d756c2e65752f...5a7353396a]
Feelings. Forever.